If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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