It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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