your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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