Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
