I looked at my own cervix.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
