we have officially lost it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
