im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
