I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
