some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
