Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize