Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize