All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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