We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
