some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
