the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
organizing the empties. That sober.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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