Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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