Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
