IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
