I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize