i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
