That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
