Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
