Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
