Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
