we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
