Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
