No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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