I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
