he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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