and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
