my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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