She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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