I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
