I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
