We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I want is dick and wine.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
