The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
