maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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