He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
