are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Randomize
