In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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