i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
