Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
