My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
