I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
