3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
