is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
