his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
