Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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