Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
