Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
