It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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