found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
