guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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