i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
