the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
