piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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