Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize