I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
