honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
