Already got asked if we're dating
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
