were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
