why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think people are normalizing furries
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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