just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
