Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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