Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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