I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
