She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
