I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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